How Much Notice Should You Give? Setting Fair Notice Periods

Nobody likes being blindsided. Whether it's a job, a lease, or a casual arrangement, finding out something is over without any warning feels terrible. That's why notice periods exist in the professional world — and why they deserve a place in your personal agreements too.

A notice period is simply the amount of time you agree to give the other person before ending or significantly changing the arrangement. It's not about asking permission. It's about basic respect and giving both people time to adjust.

Why Notice Periods Matter in Casual Arrangements

In a traditional contract, notice periods protect both parties from sudden disruption. In a casual arrangement, the stakes are different but no less real. Someone might be relying on the arrangement for emotional support, financial stability, or simply the structure it brings to their week.

Ending things abruptly — a text that says "I'm done, good luck" — can leave the other person scrambling. A notice period creates a buffer zone where both people can:

Process the change emotionally
Make practical adjustments (finances, living situations, schedules)
Have a final conversation about returning property or tying up loose ends
Transition out with dignity intact

What People Get Wrong About Notice Periods

Mistake #1: Thinking notice periods are only for "serious" relationships. Even a casual arrangement benefits from a heads-up. If you've been seeing someone regularly for months, disappearing overnight is not "keeping it casual" — it's just inconsiderate.

Mistake #2: Setting a notice period that's way too long. A 90-day notice period for a casual arrangement is overkill. You're not terminating a commercial lease. Keep it proportional to the depth and duration of the arrangement.

Mistake #3: Not discussing it upfront. The time to agree on a notice period is at the beginning, not when someone already has one foot out the door. Bring it up when you're setting expectations early on.

Mistake #4: Treating the notice period as a negotiation window. A notice period is not an opportunity to convince the other person to stay. It's a transition period, not a second chance.

How to Decide on a Fair Notice Period

There's no universal rule, but here are some guidelines based on the nature of your arrangement:

For newer arrangements (under 3 months)

Suggested notice: 48 hours to 1 week
A brief heads-up is courteous. A simple "I've been thinking about this, and I'd like to wind things down" gives the other person time to process without dragging things out.

For established arrangements (3-12 months)

Suggested notice: 1-2 weeks
At this point, there's likely a routine in place. A week or two allows both people to adjust schedules, have a closing conversation, and handle any practical matters.

For long-term arrangements (over a year)

Suggested notice: 2-4 weeks
Longer arrangements often involve deeper entanglements — shared expenses, intertwined routines, possibly even shared living spaces. More lead time is fair.

Factors that might change the timeline

Financial dependence: If one person relies on the arrangement financially, a longer notice period (or a transition plan) is the ethical move.
Shared commitments: Upcoming travel, events, or obligations you've already committed to together.
Safety concerns: If there's any element of abuse, manipulation, or threats, all notice period expectations go out the window. Your safety comes first, always.

What a Notice Period Should Look Like in Practice

Here's a practical example of how this might work:

"Hey, I've been doing some thinking, and I want to be honest with you. I'd like to end our arrangement. Per what we discussed when we started, I'm giving you two weeks' notice. I'm happy to talk through anything during that time, and I want to make sure we handle this respectfully."

During the notice period:

Have one clear conversation about logistics — finances, property, shared accounts, whatever applies.
Don't pretend everything is normal. You don't need to keep up regular dates or intimacy if the arrangement is ending.
Respect the timeline. If you said two weeks, don't ghost after three days.
Discuss post-arrangement boundaries so you're both clear on what happens after.

A Simple Notice Period Checklist

Use this when drafting the ending section of your arrangement:

Agreed-upon notice period length (in days or weeks)
Preferred method of delivering notice (in person, phone call, written message)
What happens during the notice period (do regular meetups continue? do financial terms stay the same?)
Whether either party can request an immediate end for safety reasons, no questions asked
How to handle the final exchange of property or settling of any shared expenses

When You Can Skip the Notice Period

There are times when a clean break is more appropriate than a gradual one:

Safety issues. Any form of abuse, threats, or coercion means you owe nothing.
Serious boundary violations. If the other person has broken a core term of your arrangement, you're not obligated to stick around for a grace period.
Mutual agreement. If both of you recognize it's not working and want to end things immediately, a mutual "let's just call it" is perfectly valid.

For more on navigating the emotional side of endings, read When One Person Wants Out and the Other Doesn't.

The Bottom Line

A notice period isn't about making your casual arrangement feel like a corporate contract. It's about treating another person with the respect they deserve. Agreeing on one upfront — even informally — makes the eventual ending far less painful for everyone involved.

The best time to discuss it is right now. The second-best time is before you need it. For a deeper look at how to structure your ending terms, visit our Ending Arrangements hub.